// A Little Christmas, Jackie Returns to the States Q-n-A//

FRIEND: Hey Jackie, well I am assuming it’s about time for you to return. Are you ready for it?

ME: I’m almost ready for it. First I have to jump through a gate of fire…I believe most Americans refer to it as ‘New Jersey’. There I shall fast until my eyes cross. Permanently. Then I will take my trusty walking stick and cross the Appalachian mountains into the hinterlands of Kansas where I will be fattened up by Christmas food like a goose for its pate. After much fluffing of my feathers and gorging of my liver, I will watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ with my sister, where at the end I will sob like a child.

In other words, YES, I am ready. BRING IT.